te quiero mucho

As I begin this day with my usual routine
I allotted a time to rise from bed and went to my table
I decided to make something extraordinary this special day
and that is to make a poem for you

I remember the first time I saw your face
that was when we were doing the pictorials
I was mesmerized when you were there sitting in front of me

I began to feel like the time suddenly had stopped

As I continue spending time in my room

I reminisce every moment in my history

I then began to figure out how complicated my life was before

And everything began to change when I met you

I never thought that I will be feeling this way again

For I fell in love several times and I failed as well

And because of this, I thought I will be all alone this time

But my life became alive when you entered into it

I am sure that with what I feel this time

I know you know my feelings from the actions I show

I want you to know that I do love you

I do love you because you complete me

I am expressing my feelings for you through this

Though I know that writing what I feel is not enough

For now, this is the kindest thing to do

Saying I love you to you so that you may know

As we are about to finish this special day

I want you to know how important you are to me

I am hoping that you will accept my love for you

Because the truth is, I just cannot live without you

EMIR RAJ

A no-nonsense appreciation for a beautiful creation

I really don’t know what to do this time

I’m not yet sleepy and I can’t think of what else I can do

I tried my very best to make everything be in a state of rhyme

Maybe in a form of poetry that I could somehow express my feelings for you

It was several months ago since the first time we met

During that time, you were simply a simple lady to me

But as I try to figure out, you were a special lady that is hard to forget

I sometimes asked myself, “Do I see things clearly?”

Nobody noticed that I have been loving you secretly

Not even a single soul could figure out the true feelings I have for you

By your lovely smile and captivating looks, you bring out the best in me

But up to now, I’m still having a dilemma on how to say the right words for you

I’m a bit afraid that what I felt is really love or that which maybe not

I’m also trying to observe whether what’s behind your actions synchronized with mine

To experience the real love is to be what you are not

For when one is in love, one feels like luminous stars that shine

It still remains a mystery whether we were destined to meet

Or was it just a mere coincidence? Still nobody knows

Of course! I’m the only one who knows the secret deep inside

That I have a special feeling for you, from the heart of mine where it flows

When love strikes to anybody, to any man

Even the impossible can be made possible

See! I’m writing a poem! Thanks to the “ONE!”

This poem is dedicated to an amiable and beautiful creation whom you are

*** *** *** *** ***

Emir Raj

a reflection from within

There are couple of days left for me to stay in the portals of endurance

The time of saying goodbye is already fast approaching

Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to leave

But there is a necessity for me to do it

Trying to look at myself several years ago

I began to realize that I underwent a slow but steady change

A change not only of physical appearance

But it is more on the inner change

I encounter many kinds of attitudes even in that very small vicinity

There are some who are good, and some of them are evil

But despite all of those odds, I still managed to look at the bright side of the picture

Thank God I somehow handled myself to learn many things that I am supposed to be

I just thought that I would be encountering just ordinary people like I used to

But I didn’t expect that there were people who were able to touched my life

They were the people whom I consider treasures

They are the individuals who pushed me to move forward

I don’t want to name them since I just want them to stay anonymous

But I do want to let them know how grateful I am for the goodness they have shown me

It is indeed a very wonderful thing to have them around

They are simply the best gift I received from the One whom I consider my Master

Though it is painful to say goodbye to them

I still need to do it since this is the reality

Before I will have no chances left for saying goodbye

Let me do it in advance

I will thank you all for the gift of companionship

I thank you for the gift of friendship

I want to let you know that

You will always stay forever in my heart

***************

Emir Raj™

when will i ever learn?

This is supposed to be a good day for everybody

Yet I am here alone again in my room with just the music as my companion

It seemed that time flies so slow

And the day is so gray for me

I just can’t explain why I am feeling this way

See, I am supposed to let everything go on

But why just can’t I let go?

Why is it that I am still feeling this hurt where in fact I am not supposed to be?

I can’t figure this out anymore

I know I love you so much and I feel it, but I know it’s wrong

It is wrong for the very reason that you are committed to someone already

But why just can’t I let you go away from my mind?

I am trying everything just to forget you

And I did… really. I did everything just to erase you from my mind

But wherever I go, I always see you face in everything

Why?! I am asking why I can’t take you off?!

If you just know the pain I feel inside

You will then know how sincere I am in pursuing you

I hope you feel the pain when you said that it’s better for us to be friends

It is just too painful for me for things are not supposed to happen this way

But things happen the way they will be

Not everything will be in our control right?

I know this time I should go on my own way

But why just can’t I forget you?

Since the time I wake up in the morning, I then see your face beside me

The moment I go out of my house, I always remember you in everything

I just can’t figure out why even the music sympathizes with me

And how come that even the weather mourns together with me?

I just want to express myself through this way

It is because I can’t help it anymore

My heart is bleeding and I just don’t know when it would end

But I know that the moment it will stop bleeding, I am sure that I will forget you

The mistake I committed was falling in love in a wrong way

I still love you despite the fact the your heart was taken already

I just don’t know why I am still here waiting for something

Something which I know will never come

I guess I need to move on and forget you

But I’ve been asking myself this question several times

And I just don’t know the answer

For forgetting you is synonymous with forgetting my life

You are the reason why I wanted to live

But you are also the reason why I am bleeding this time

I gave up everything in pursuing you for I thought that you would be mine

But it seemed that pursuing you again will cause my head to bang on the wall

You are already tightened up with him

That’s how I see it even though you said that you are not

Four years is not that easy to dismantle

And here I am, a new comer who just happen to drop by

Deep inside me, there is still a little hope that remains

Hoping that if I will stay a little longer, things might pay off

But the more I stay; it becomes harder for me

And the more painful it will be

I am now in a dilemma as to where to go

I want to forget you but I just can’t

I want to let you go… away from my mind but a half of me says no

Why? Can you just please tell me why?

I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream just to take this pain away from me

You are like a tattoo in me, you are indelible

Every memory of you keeps on haunting me

And I am becoming so restless

I hope and pray that I will be enlightened

Because this time, I just don’t know what to do

As you can see, I am like a gate crusher in your life

Wanting to take part in something that is already owned

I still choose to believe that there is hope for me

But things are already fading away and that is the reality

You are even trying to build walls towards me

I know you are starting to go away and that makes it more painful

Good Lord! When will I ever learn from this?

I love her but she is not mine

I want to take her but she herself opted not to and that makes it so painful for me

For despite all things, deep inside of me… I still love her so much

the greatness of tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day that I’ve been waiting for so long

It’s been a long preparation in order for me to reach this far

I’ve been through many sleepless nights and sufferings

But there is no way for turning back

Tomorrow is the most awaited moment

For the glory, honor, fame and power are at stake

It’s about a battle to be won

It’s now or never

I’ve sacrificed everything just to be able to be on the ground where I am standing

I’ve already and I will still enter into the eye of the needle

All for the sake of a promise

I will reach that goal no matter what happens

I am filled with mixed emotions

Fear, courage, joy and sorrow are creating turmoil from within

But I need to be courageous in order to win this battle

I need to be strong so that I will not be toppled down

It is true that nobody knows what future lies ahead

But are we really bounded by circumstances

Or do we have a chance to change the tides of destiny?

But what is important is to be prepared and to persevere

If I will not do my best, everything will just turn into waste

If I will not be strong, I will be disgraced

Opportunity knocks but once, and tomorrow is the moment of greatness

It is up to me whether I will grab it or just simply let it slip away.

**** ********* ****

Emir Raj

into the deep

Into The Deep

Truth is the ultimate goal of our existence
Yet truth is very elusive and mysterious
Man venture into the world to find the truth
Yet man acquires failures and defeat

What is their in the truth?
What is this truth?
How can we achieve the truth?
Why do we need to seek for the truth?

Man is the most special creation
Always seeking for answers and is never contented
For him, the day will be useless unless truth is achieved
In truth lies the peace of mind

And so, man continue to struggle for the truth
Make straight your path and do not allow yourself to be mesmerized by lies
There are many people who want to hide the truth
Guard the truth with all your might

The moment truth will be hidden, lies will thrive
The moment lies with exist, chaos will reign
The moment chaos will reign, injustice will emerge
And if that happens, peace will slip unto your hands

Man, you are the one chosen by God to be the steward
And you always want to seek God in everything you do
Do you know that the truth lies in God alone?
Peace lies in truth, and truth lies in God

We always desire for peace
For in peace lies happiness
But how can we achieve peace and happiness if there is not truth?
And did you know that in truth there is freedom?

In peace, there is happiness
In truth, there is peace
There is freedom in truth;
For we can attain happiness only if we live in freedom

The unnamed poem

This is the day when I began to realize my shortcomings

I always thought that I could push myself to the limitations of my ability

But I was wrong in that kind of belief since I have my limitations too

I just don’t know when to give up on this

It’s been such a little while since we became friends

And then we became closer than we expected

Until such time came when we began to realize that both of us felt something

And that is to fall in love in a very wrong time

This day is suppose to be a happy day since it is the day we commemorate love

But I am here spending time with myself in my room alone

It’s been raining since yesterday and I tried to let the time slip

But I just can’t deny the fact that something deep inside me is lacking

Last night was a terrible night for both of us

I just don’t know if it was the will of the Supreme Being or it was a coincidence

I just don’t know if I will be happy or not

All I felt that time was fear and I always think about you every moment

When we met just this morning, I hold on to my tears

I controlled my emotions when I saw your eyes

I saw loneliness; fear, and a bit of regret

Yet there is still hope that is still struggling to keep itself alive

I just don’t know where my feelings for you will be going to bring me

I just don’t know when will I surrender

I just don’t know what to do as of the moment

With all honesty, I am now on the brink of giving you up

I really pitied you this morning

Your eyes seemed to tell many things yet we just opted to be silent

I wanted to speak to you yet I controlled myself

For silence that time was the best and the kindest thing to do this time

I tried to sleep earlier just to do away with what I feel

But I just can’t close my eyes

No matter what I do this time, I am still restless

For the truth is, you are always inside my lonely mind

I just don’t know why I fell in love with you

I know there are girls who are much better than you

No matter how I tried to take this feeling away

I just can’t… I just can’t because I do love you

It’s hard for me and I just don’t know if I can survive this situation

I am now free at last but you are not

I have been telling you several times that I will wait

Good Lord! Please help me out with this for I just don’t know what to do

True love can be tested in letting someone go

Things began to get more complicated than before

This place is too small for the two of us

I just don’t know if there is still chance for me to have you

And now that we are on the brink of closing the doors

I just cannot accept the fact that things are turning against us

But I know this is the best way for now

Saying goodbye though it really hurts from the inside

As you go back to your former life

Let me say sorry for the nuisance

Allow me to say thank you for the moments we shared

And let me say I wish you all the best in this world

I just don’t know how to give up… really

In time, I know… I will be winning you back

But I need to entrust everything to the One who has the will

I will just close my eyes this time and hope

If ever I will be given another chance to have you

I know that will never be coincidental anymore

I know this will going to kill my heart out

But we need to separate ways this time… for the good of us

I wish I could still see your face in time

I wish I could spend time with you just like what we always do

I wish… I just simply wish that you would be free

For I really wish that I could win your heart

I know this will be very difficult

I know this will going to hurt both you and I

And I know that anything will happen after this

Whew! My heart is already crying as I am writing this poem for you

I want you to know that I do love you

I do love you because my world becomes alive when you arrived

But things are not yet turning towards our favor

And so allow me to say the last things on my mind before I will run out of words

I really appreciate you for your goodness

I thank you for the love you gave to me

No matter what will happen to us, always remember that I do love you

But we need to accept the fact that it is not yet the right time

Is it really not right for us?

Who then defines when is the right time?

Who then has the right to say that it is right?

Al I know is it is not yet fitting for us

I love you… for you are important to me

I need you because I love you

But then I want you to grow and be happy

And so, even though this will be painful to me… I need to say good-bye to you

As I end this short poem, I want you to know how important you are to me

Despite the complicatedness of the situation, I still do love you; and I know I will

But letting us go for the moment will allow us to grow. And so let me say good-bye to you

I want you to know that wherever I go, you will always remain in my heart… until we meet again

****** ******* ********

the veracity of interiority

The veracity of interiority

I woke up one early morning and rose immediately from bed

Wanting to grab this very rare opportunity of feeling the kiss of the wind

I washed myself just like what I always do

And went out to start my ordinary walk in life

As I continue my walk, I began to ponder upon some important events

I just realized how fortunate I am to meet a person like you

Until now, I can’t figure out the exact reason why we met

But one thing I can be sure of is I am feeling an unexplained eudaimonia because of you

At first, I did not expect this closeness of ours to come

It was such a perplexing instance to get closer to you

It was even paradoxical since I traveled so far just to search for you

And yet, the one I have been looking for is just here where I started to step unto

It’s quite painful upon knowing that not everything will happen in your favor

That is such a reality that I have been trying to accept

It’s quite weird thinking that we are like birds in prison

For both of us are already been attached

Whew! What a very mysterious life there is in this world

It is indeed true that things are not what they seem

It’s contradictory to feel happiness where in fact we are lonely

But that is the way it goes sometimes

I am starting to reflect as to why I did not met you before

I just can’t organize my thoughts whenever I think about this

Falling for someone where in fact you’ve already been attached to someone else

It is indeed more rational sometimes to be irrational

I just cannot contain myself anymore

For I am living in this world full of prejudice and lies

And on the other hand, a world full of hope and love

For having you found makes my life complicated yet a life of fulfillment

I offer this to you for this wonderful day

I am very grateful still because if not this day, I might no be able to see you

But here we are, having met at last

Despite the difficulties, I am still happy

I am still hopeful that I will win you someday

It might not be today, not tomorrow, it might be someday

Nobody knows for we don’t have any control of tomorrow

But we can defy time and space if we want to

I am saying this to you because I cannot simply wear a mask

I know basically the traps of the situation

It might endanger both you and I

But I am very sure that one can ever question feelings

When can a huddle of wrong be right?

And when can a cluster of right be wrong?

When can a horde of truth be filled with lies?

And when can a bunch of lies be filled with truths?

I know you know what my actions speaks

And I am feeling the same way with yours

I just want to let you know that if it’s necessary to wait

Then I will wait even if it will take me light years

Love doesn’t know any time and space

For it is beyond them

It doesn’t know any right or wrong

For it is simply an expression of what is true

I offer you this poem

As my gift to you for this very special day

A day when a beautiful creation came into this world

In order to be appreciated by an ordinary being like me

****** ******* ********